1.

~ How can we access the intangible? to see it, hold it.
~ wishes into the pool
~ We go to our truest state when in water

~ desire has a liquid presence
~ syrupy in air
~ become liquid
~ I’m hit every way with water

~ Seeing something sublime is both beautiful and sad
~ It feels hollow, a scoop. It's like a cavern in your chest with that kind of longing
~ It brings a feeling of deep calm
~ it’s overwhelming, too close to have it in its entirety

~ time as a subsistence has changed

~ I’m frightened but trying to be ok with things being unknown or unstable
~ A Field Guide To Getting Lost "For a while it was forever, then things began to fall apart"
~ What's hurting the most about it?
~ are my feelings insincere?

~ They're pulling you into an inquiry
~ to take a little of the trauma
~ why do we learn, as women especially, that it is a sign and duty of love to hold, manage and make space within ourselves for the pain of others without expecting it in return?

~ the tension between people, It is palpable
~ it’s not a language thing, it’s a sensory thing
~ Everything we do stays with us,moulds us, directs us
~ We learn self forgiveness

~ the baby of generous conversations and collaborative discussion
~ The ‘and’ pushes a distance inbetween
~ Even though were in confined spaces i feel space has opened up with time
~ You can have everything else but without time you have nothing to pour those things into
~ the myth of progress, of capitalist productivity

~ Stones, the weight of stones, how our thumbs fit into them, the satisfying feeling of fitting them
in our palms.



2.

~ Desire and Distance, one does not exist without the other
~ Otherwise those emotions couldn't go with it
~ What in you is drawing you to the what in something else

~ Knowing ourselves can be transient.
~ There’s a channel I feel connected to that helps me pull things from the world around me. It lets me reveal more of it and makes things clearer.~
~ Trust that it steers you

~ always changing, a constant uncovering
~ a channel of consistency
~ there is a core in the individual

~ the language we’ve used. Us as liquid, feelings and things being submerged, riding to the surface, being swallowed, to be shallow or deep, moving and being fluid.

~ using water as a metaphor for feelings and the things we find impossible to use with language
~ language is not essentially real, it’s a construction, we invented this meaning.

~ living in this world we’re expected to be full of formulas, definitions, exclamations, reasons, logic
~ As if these things are more true, more real, more objective

~ The amount of internalised misogyny that makes us feel we must shut away conversations about emotion and feeling, as less important
~ it is internalised misogyny that makes us really worry about being seen as 'just women talking about feelings', as if such a thing holds less value
~ Repeated actions taking on new meaning

~ water on its surface
~ a contradiction between what's said or communicated and what is felt
~ I don't know if these feelings are always true
~ our brains and bodies produce a whole variety of responses and reactions

~ something being away from you
~ tying a thread between me and it

~ the story of the golden windows
~ The act of desiring something is to acknowledge that you and it are separate
~To close that distance, it ceases to be what it is

~ Suspending it between us, give it something to attach on to and it can take shape



3.

~ shivering sounds
~ the feeling of a narrative
~ I wrote it not to be read
~ blowing bottles
~ domestic simulation of sounds
~ a whole story of clicks
~ communicating through distance
~ synthetic magic
~ Trying to conjure it into being by imitating it
~ old magic
~ whistle a wind sound, wind will come, pour water on to grass it will rain
~ a consequence of air moving
~ words that are unreachable
~ shielding under a blanket of birds
~ as tactile as creatures
~ whispering as the sound of distance and intimacy
~ a simultaneous closeness and distance
~a shadow - is something both of the body as it is attached and also removed from the body like a scream
~ talking under water
~ Being tuned it to resonance
~ understanding the physicality of sound and how it moves through distance
~ sonic relationship between two things
~ relinquish the presentation of something ‘new’
~ sharing and this way of working is a move away from ownership



4.

~ Intention of water
~ Water likes to balance itself
~ what is the invisible force directing its meander

~ Liquid presence as you speak
~ string something delicate, passing back and forth
~ a liquid soul

~ How to do without doing

~ There’s something about bodies of water

talking
notes from zoom calls, april 2020 ~ august 2020